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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Chapter 23 - The Giver




Even though freezing cold and snow made Jonas’s journey extremely tough, he was certain that Elsewhere is not far away and felt it was just ahead of him. In addition, a very steep hill appeared in front of Jonas and Gabe. They were totally exhausted and felt tempted to give up keeping on the journey but Jonas did his best with all his effort trying to remember warm memory such as sunshine to renew his strength. From the summit of the hill, he went downward by riding a sled and he got to meet vibrancy lights on a tree from the window of a room.


Oh my… the author finished the story with open ending which makes readers imagine the ending of the story. Most of the readers might reach to the two kinds of endings as I do. The one could be a tragedy. Jonas heard people singing while he slide downward but it says that he thought that the music is from the community where he tried to escape from. This could be a key to assume that people might have got all of the memories which Jonas used to own as soon as Jonas has left, and it was them who really sang the song! Then, it means the final destination was just to come back to the community despite all the painful process. Oh.. my… I’m so sad about this pessimistic ending.

The other one would be a happy ending literally according to the last sentence “Perhaps it was only an echo.” Right. This sentence caused lots of argument between happy and unhappy ending. However, as the author also stated several times through her other interview, messages or writings, it would end up with Jonas’s successful journey to find Elsewhere. Jonas found a family enjoying Christmas and their own family affections and he is getting involved to become a member of Elsewhere in the end.  

Of course, I prefer the optimistic ending to the other one but still I have one pinprick in my mind. The Music. I remember the Giver didn’t transmit the music since it was the best thing which the Giver wanted to keep the last. As a result of it, Jonas can’t hear music but why suddenly Jonas heard people’s singing? Does this mean that after Jonas has left, all the memories went back to the people and also the Giver gave away all of this memories including music and people can sing a song with feeling real happiness and then, Jonas just came back to the his community in the end of his journey? Oh.. my… is there anyone who can persuade me out of this terrible ending?





Gabriel's curly hair was matted and filthy, and there were tearstains outlined in dirt on his pale cheeks.
matted adjective [ˈmætɪd]
forming a thick mass, especially because it is wet and dirty
the dog's matted fur

filthy adjective [ˈfɪlθi]
very dirty and unpleasant
He never washed, and always wore a filthy old jacket.

A steep hill loomed ahead.
loom [lu:m]
to appear as a large shape that is not clear, especially in a frightening or threatening way
A dark shape loomed up ahead of us.

But now the rapidly deepening snow obscured the narrow road and made the ride impossible.
obscure [əbˈskjʊr]
to make it difficult to see, hear or understand something
The view was obscured by fog.

His front wheel moved forward imperceptibly as he pushed on the pedals with his numb, exhausted legs.
imperceptible adjective [ˌɪmpəˈseptəbl] - Opposite: perceptible
very small and therefore unable to be seen or felt;
There was an almost imperceptible pause as she gathered her breath to speak.

He had trudged no more than a few yards through the night when it was gone and they were cold again.
trudge verb [trʌdʒ]
to walk slowly or with heavy steps, because you are tired or carrying something heavy
He trudged the last two miles to the town.

Warming himself ever so briefly had shaken away the lethargy and resignation and restored his will to survive.
lethargy [|leθərdƷi]
the state of not having any energy or enthusiasm for doing things
The report criticizes the lethargy shown by employers when it comes to job creation.

But the hill was treacherously steep
treacherous adjective  [ˈtretʃərəs]
dangerous, especially when seeming safe
The ice on the roads made driving conditions treacherous.

he was impeded by the snow and his own lack of strength.
impede verb [ɪmˈpiːd]
to delay or stop the progress of something
Work on the building was impeded by severe weather.

His consciousness grasped at a wisp of another warm memory
wisp noun [wɪsp]
a small, thin piece of hair, grass, etc
She smoothed away a wisp of hair from her eyes.

As he approached the summit of the hill at last, something began to happen.
summit noun [ˈsʌmɪt]
the highest point of something, especially the top of a mountain
We reached the summit at noon.

on the contrary, his steps were leaden, and he could barely move his freezing, tired legs.
leaden adjective [ˈledn]
dull, heavy or slow
He heard the father's leaden footsteps move down the stairs.

He reached the place where the hill crested and he could feel the ground under his snow-covered feet become level.
crest verb [krest]
to reach the top of a hill, mountain or wave
The ship crested a wave and then fell twenty feet or more.

Numbly his hands fumbled for the rope.
fumble verb [ˈfʌmbl]
to use your hands in an awkward way when you are doing something or looking for something
She was fumbling around in the dark looking for the light switch.

they sped in a straight line through an incision that seemed to lead to the final destination
incision noun [ɪnˈsɪʒn]
a sharp cut made in something, particularly during a medical operation; the act of making a cut in something
Make a small incision below the ribs.



Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Chapter23


<Story>

The season changed to winter, and it started snowing. It was cold and Gabriel became weaker and weaker. Snow is piling and it became harder to ride the bicycle. However he must keep going. There was a steep hill, and Jonas tried to climb up to find some hope. It was very tough and couldn’t take his bike because of the snow. When he reached to the top of the hill, there was a sled and he rode the sled to downward, holding Gabriel safely.  During his riding, he got sudden certainty and delight. He could hear the music and someone’s singing. He believed they are waiting for him and Gabriel, but he seems to be seeing an illusion….    

******************************************************************************

<Impression>

No happy end?! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Very Sad.

From the last sentence “But perhaps it was only an echo”, I could imagine Gabriel and Jonas couldn’t survive in the world. So?! Why did the story keep leading us to this sad ending? Teach us about the reality? The power of the nature? Human powerlessness? Now suddenly it reminds me about the Japanese films which often has vague ending. Hahahahah It always leave the obscure universal issue in the viewer’s heart. I have used to love this kind of films. It is definitely different type from Hollywood movie. But this ending is just like the way of the community. Something like……”realease”  Nobody knows how they became and no one tells if they dead or alive at the end. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I see! Lois Lowry is the patriotic writer who comes from the community!!

As conclusion, actually I really enjoyed reading this book, and thank for EunYeong to let me have such a great experience. I hope I could increase my vocabulary…. and wish I can continue reading. It was started from August, so we spent 3 months. Let’s toast~!!


 <My New words>

1. inadequate/adj/ ɪnˈædɪkwət/ not enough; not good enough

> his inadequate blanket

2. perception/n/ pərˈsepʃn/ the way you notice things, especially with the senses

>a nearly forgotten perception

3. loom/v/ luːm/ to appear as a large shape that is not clear, especially in a frightening or threatening way

>A steep hill loomed ahead.

4. obscure/v/ əbˈskjʊr/ to make it difficult to see, hear or understand something

>snow obscured the narrow road

5. stir/v/ stɜːr/ to move, or to make something move, slightly

> Gabriel stirred.

6. treacherously/adj/ ˈtretʃərəs/ dangerous, especially when seeming safe

>the hill was treacherously steep.

7. trudge/v/ trʌdʒ/ to walk slowly or with heavy steps, because you are tired or carrying something

> He trudged upward.

8. on the contrary/ used to introduce a statement that says the opposite of the last one

>He was not less exhausted; on the contrary, his could barely move his freezing legs.

9. aware with/ knowing or realizing something

10. certainty/n/ ˈsɜːrtnti/ a thing that is certain

>Suddenly he was aware with certainty and joy.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Chapter 22 - The Giver



Of course, during the escape, long journey, he got to meet many new things that Jonas has never experienced before. For example, a bird. Gabe cried out “plane” but it was a bird. In addition, rain is also one of them which Jonas have never had before. At this time, he didn’t have any time to appreciate rain since rain made Jonas and Gabe’s journey more severe. Meanwhile, Jonas wondered whether he made a right choice or wrong one, even though he really wanted to escape from the life of Sameness and predictability and this shows how tough this explore for Elsewhere is to this young boy.

Reading Jonas’s great explore for Elsewhere, I was wondering whether I have experienced that kind of trip before or not. In this reality world, that kind of tough trip can be a backpacking at least. Well… no. never. Even in my young ages, I’ve never tried. We can’t compare Jonas’s journey to a trip like a backpacking since Jonas is doing it at the risk of his life but still I just can imagine that it would be much more agonizing than a backpacking. Even though I have just one chapter remained, I hope Jonas’s travel would end up with happiness.




But now there were new fears; the unfamiliar landscape held hidden, unknown perils.
peril noun [ˈperəl]
[uncountable] serious danger
The country's economy is now in grave peril.

The constant ache of his swollen ankle was eased when he soaked it occasionally in the cold water that rushed through roadside gullies.
gully noun (also gulley) [ˈɡʌli]
a small, narrow channel, usually formed by a stream or by rain
The bodies of the three climbers were located at the bottom of a steep gully

Soon there were many birds along the way, soaring overhead, calling.
soar verb [sɔːr]
to fly very high in the air or remain high in the air
an eagle soaring high above the cliffs

He slowed the bike again and again to look with wonder at wildflowers, to enjoy the throaty warble of a new bird nearby, or merely to watch the way wind shifted the leaves in the trees.
warble verb [ˈwɔːrbl]
to sing, especially in a high voice that is not very steady
He warbled his way through the song.

he had never felt such simple moments of exquisite happiness.
exquisite adjective [ɪkˈskwɪzɪt]
extremely beautiful or carefully made / strongly felt
Her wedding dress was absolutely exquisite. / exquisite pain (pleasure)

The most relentless of his new fears was that they would starve.
relentless adjective [rɪˈlentləs]
not stopping or getting less strong
her relentless pursuit of perfection

They finished the meager store of potatoes and carrots
meager [mí:ɡər]
small in quantity and poor in quality
a meagre diet of bread and water
She supplements her meagre income by cleaning at night.

Finally, in desperation, he fashioned a makeshift net, looping the strands of Gabriel's blanket around a curved stick.
makeshift adjective [ˈmeɪkʃɪft]
used temporarily for a particular purpose because the real thing is not available
The hall had been turned into a makeshift hospital.

He tried to use the flagging power of his memory to recreate meals, and managed brief, tantalizing fragments:
tantalize verb [ˈtæntəlaɪz]
to make a person or an animal want something that they cannot have or do
A tantalising aroma of roast beef fills the air.
Don't tantalize me. Just come out with it.

and lush fruits picked and eaten, sun-warmed and dripping, from trees.
lush [lʌʃ]
covered in healthy grass and plants.
the lush green meadows bordering the river

But when the memory glimpses subsided, he was left with the gnawing, painful emptiness.
gnawing adjective [ˈnɔːɪŋ]
making you feel worried over a period of time
gnawing doubts

Once he had yearned for choice.
yearn [j3:rn]
to want something very much, especially when it is very difficult to get
She yearned to escape from her office job.










Monday, October 28, 2013

Chapter22


<Story>

Gabriel and Jonas came to very far place from the community. There is lives such as birds, animals, and fishes. During the long journey, Jonas injured his ankle and knee, and their food has no left now. Jonas really faced to “starving”, and experienced hunting food by own. It was inconvenient and uncomfortable life which he had never known in the community. Now Jonas noticed the life in the community was very convenient, but at the same time, he felt there was no choice to keep staying in the community. That’s because he needs to protect Gabriel, and now he was taking care of him more than himself.

********************************************************************************

<Impression>

The life in the nature with baby must be very very difficult. I think they will get sick immediately in the real life. How much our modern life is convenient…..we sometimes forget about it. Now, Jonas has no choice to go back to the community……then they can’t get sick and need to survive somehow!! Oh how the story will be ended from this situation? Find a house which someone living in? Find another community? Also in this situation, we are not sure if Jonas’s all received memories were opened to people in the community. How he can know their plan was achieved? Anyway, what’s important for Jonas is Food and Home! The author may want to tell us what the real free life means. Also the meaning of regulation and our artificial environment….Oh yes, our world is poised between the nature and the artifact.


<My New words>

1. instinctively /adv/ɪnˈstɪŋktɪvli/based on instinct, not thought or training

> He grabbed instinctively for Gabriel.

2. seep/v/siːp/to flow slowly and in small quantities through something or into something

> blood is seeping through his trousers.

3. soar /v/sɔːr/ to fly very high in the air or remain high in the air

> Birds were soaring overhead.

4. gnawing/adj/ˈnɔːɪŋ/making you feel worried over a period of time

>gnawing emptiness

5. hack/v/hæk/to cut somebody/something with rough, heavy blows

>Jonas hacked the fish with a sharp rock.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Chapter21


<Story>

It is the night to flee from the community. However, their careful plan was changed by one reason.

The night, Jonas’ father told to family about their final decision of Gabriel’s release. During the night crew took care of Gabriel, he had been not sleeping so soundly till the night crew got exhausted. This news made a big change to his plan, then he decided to take Gabriel with him to his journey.

The only things made him feel sad was about leaving his close friends. He will not able to see them forever, and he thought about his 3 infractions; leaving the dwelling at night, robbing food from the community and stealing his father’s bicycle.

During his journey, Jonas transmitted soothing memory to Gabriel to let him fall sleep for avoiding the searchers find them from the planes. At the last, they reached very far place where no planes fly to search them. After the long dangerous night, two fugitives Jonas and Gabriel hid in the bush to have rest.   

**********************************************************************************

<Impression>

12 years old boy took a baby to flee from his own society. That’s very brave action, and survival journey. Now, he became like single-mother. Food is enough for them? How to take care of baby after several days? Whatever, I could understand it was the only way for Jonas. Do I have such experience before? Can’t go back, and need to just go forward….I think I have never. Or about my marriage? The source of his vitality is having “Hope”. Human strength! Jonas had a hope which is to let people share all memories in the community. He is very strong, and I truly respect for what he has done rather than following the prepared plan with the Giver.  He got a company Gabriel just about 1year old. Probably it was better than being alone for Jonas.  Boys! Please achieve your terrific project!

 


<My New words>

1. fall apart /  to have so many problems that it is no longer possible to exist or function

> All the things they had thought through so meticulously fell apart.

2. stealthily / adv / ˈstelθɪli / doing things quietly or secretly

> He moved stealthily and silently.

3. chatter away / to talk quickly and continuously, especially about things that are not important

> Lily was chattering away.

4. apparently/ adv / əˈpærəntli  / according to what you have heard or read

> He cried all night, apparently.

5. frazzled / adj / ˈfræzld / tired and easily annoyed

>They were really frazzled.

6. condemn / v / kənˈdem / to express very strong disapproval of somebody/something, usually for moral reasons

>He would be condemned.

7. soothing / adj / suːðɪŋ / to make somebody who is anxious, upset, etc. feel calmer

> Jonas transmitted to him the most soothing memory.

8. jolt /v / dʒoʊlt  /to move or to make somebody/something move suddenly and roughly

>The bicycle jolted him up and down.

9. diminish / v /dɪˈmɪnɪʃ / to become or to make something become smaller, weaker, etc.

>The frequency of the planes diminished.

10. fugitive / n / ˈfjuːdʒətɪv /a person who has escaped or is running away from somewhere and is trying to avoid being caught

> The fugitives slept through the first dangerous day.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Chapter20


<Story>

The day which Jonas learned the actual meaning of Release, the Giver let him stay at Annex instead of letting him go home. It was because the Giver wanted to talk about his plan with Jonas. The plan is about changing the present situation, and it is the dangerous plan that they may be killed if the community noticed. Also the success of this plan meant to be separated each other. Jonas agreed with the Giver’s plan, and his mission is to escape from this community. The Giver’s role is to stay in the community to take care of the chaos after their secret plan. 

************************************************************************************

<Impression>

Finally the story has begun to be dramatic. The climax is coming soon! Their secret plan reminded me terrorist group Taliban…..and I could imagine how they felt nervous and thrilled. Break their history and rules to take all memories back to the community. For justice! For Freedom! Luckily it was not related to the occultism with the Giver. hahahha  However, the Giver’s motivation might be the strong love for his daughter Rosemary! Now, I wonder how Jonas can give up his family and loved friends……and he knows it will be Good-bye for good. I was a little bit surprised because Jonas’s attachment to his old friend and family looked not that strong.  I hope their project will be achieved successfully! Let’s see how it goes~

 

<My New words>

1. sob/ v / sɑːb/ to say something while you are crying

>”I won’t go home!” Jonas sobbed and shouted.

2. weep/ v / wiːp/ to cry, usually because you are sad

3. shudder/ v / ˈʃʌdər / to shake because you are cold or frightened, or because of a strong feeling

>Weeping, shuddering, he sat on the edge of the bed.

4. huddle/ v / ˈhʌdl/ to hold your arms and legs close to your body, usually because you are cold or frightened

>He sat huddled.

5. mimic/ v / ˈmɪmɪk/ to look or behave like something else

6. cruel/ adj / ˈkruːəl/ causing pain or suffering

7. sarcastic /adj / sɑːrˈkæstɪk/ showing or expressing sarcasm

>Jonas mimicked in a cruel, sarcastic voice.

8. plead/ v / pliːd/ to ask somebody for something in a very strong and serious way

>”I want you to come, Giver,”Jonas pleaded.

9. emphatically/ adv / ɪmˈfætɪkli/ an emphatic statement, answer, etc. is given with force to show that it is important

>Jonas shook his head emphatically.

10. errand/ n / ˈerənd/ a job that you do for somebody that involves going somewhere to take a message, to buy something, deliver goods, etc

> The Giver would send the driver on some brief errand.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Chapter 20 - The Giver






The Giver has thought that there is nothing he can do to change the community for a long time but he might have been inspired by Jonas and changed his mind. Finally the Giver and Jonas made a seemingly perfect plan. It is to help Jonas escape from the community and go to Elsewhere, and the memories which the Giver has transmitted to Jonas would go into the people of the community. Then, the Giver would help people with all the memories in confusion and panic as he did it for Jonas. The D-day is the day for the Twelve Ceremony when no one would notice Jonas's absence. Meanwhile, the Giver confided that Rosemary is her daughter. 

It indeed seemed impossible for the Giver to try something to correct the wrongly controlled community but dramatically he decided to make a plan with Jonas. Jonas risks his life for this plan. It's very dangerous one because if he is detected during escape, he will be released! However, one thing weighs on my mind. It is one phrase; Elsewhere they were both sure existed. They believed Elsewhere exists? oh.. my.... It may imply the possibility that Jonas's escape would be done with the failure to find the Elsewhere and he would realize there exists no another different world such as Elsewhere. How hopeless the situation would be! 
I hope this story has a happy ending. 

one more thing. the Giver mentioned he would like to be with his daughter after he finishes his work and his daughter is Rosemary who was released already. then, what on earth does this mean?!!!! Is he going to request a release? :O






Weeping, shuddering, he sat on the edge of the bed.
weep VERB
[wiːp]
to cry, usually because you are sad
She started to weep uncontrollably.

Finally Jonas was able to quiet himself and he sat huddled, his shoulders shaking.
huddle VERB
[ˈhʌdl] 
to hold your arms and legs close to your body, usually because you are cold or frightened
I huddled under a blanket on the floor.

Jonas shook his head emphatically.
em·phat·i·cal·ly 
[imfǽtikəli, em-]
[ADV][ADV with v] If you say something emphatically, you say it in a forceful way which shows that you feel very strongly about what you are saying.
'No fast food', she said emphatically

People fleeing from terrible things throughout history.
flee VERB
[fliː] fled-fled
to leave a person or place very quickly, especially because you are afraid of possible danger
a camp for refugees fleeing from the war

Confronted by a situation which they had never faced before, and having no memories from which to find either solace or wisdom, they would not know what to do and would seek his advice.
confront VERB
[kənˈfrʌnt] 
to deal with a problem or difficult situation
She knew that she had to confront her fears.

solace  [ˈsɑːləs]
a feeling of emotional comfort when you are sad or disappointed; a person or thing that makes you feel better or happier when you are sad or disappointed
SYNONYM comfort
His grandchildren were a solace in his old age.

He would stride to the stage and command their attention.
stride VERB
[straɪd] strode
(not used in the perfect tenses) + adverb/preposition to walk with long steps in a particular direction
We strode across the snowy fields.


Jonas had been staring glumly at the floor.
glum ADJECTIVE
[ɡlʌm]
sad, quiet and unhappy
SYNONYM gloomy
The players sat there with glum looks on their faces.



Saturday, October 19, 2013

Chapter 21 - The Giver



Everything is not necessarily following the plan. Jonas left the community at night right after he came back home from sleeping over at the Giver’s place making a big plan, even though the D-day was set on the ceremony of Twelve. It was Gabe who made Jonas make a decision to leave earlier than the plan. Jonas’s father mentioned Gabe is going to be released in the next morning and Jonas wanted to prevent Gabe from being released, so he left the long excruciating journey taking Gabe. During their escape, they usually made their forwards by bike at night and they lurked in ambush in daytime. They don’t know where they are and how close they have approached to Elsewhere but fortunately, the aircraft searchers came less often and flew less slow as if they almost gave up to find Jonas and Gabe.



It’s very impressive to watch Jonas’s bravery. He made a big decision to change all the things of the plan in order to save Gabe. It made me wonder how it’s possible that one risks one’s life to save another one. From his perspective, he might have been unable to leave Gabe get released especially after he watched the video records showing the process of release. Beyond the strong sense of justice, this young boy also must have felt very fearful to carry out all those things. So, his courage is admirable. The world may be able to keep on changing thanks to the brave.





Nearby, Gabriel played happily on the floor, babbling his baby talk,
babble VERB
[ˈbæbl]
babble (away/on) (something) to talk quickly in a way that is difficult to understand
They were all babbling away in a foreign language.

That's an understatement. It was a disaster.
understatement NOUN
[ˈʌndəsteɪtmənt]
a statement that makes something seem less important, impressive, serious, etc. than it really is
To say we were pleased is an understatement (= we were extremely pleased).


They were really frazzled by the time I got to work.
frazzle [frǽzl] 
[VERB] to make or become exhausted or weary; tire out

"Gabe, you naughty thing," Lily said, with a scolding little cluck toward the grinning toddler on the floor.
cluck VERB
[klʌk]
to make a short low sound with your tongue to show that you feel sorry for somebody or that you disapprove of something
The teacher clucked sympathetically at the child's story.

with a rhythmic sound of languid water lapping hypnotically against a beach nearby.
languid ADJECTIVE
[ˈlæŋɡwɪd]
moving slowly in an elegant manner, not needing energy or effort
a languid afternoon in the sun

lap VERB
[læp]
to touch something gently and regularly, often making a soft sound
The waves lapped around our feet.

hypnotic ADJECTIVE  [hɪpˈnɑːtɪk] 
making you feel as if you are going to fall asleep, especially because of a regular, repeated noise or movement
His voice had an almost hypnotic effect.

As the memory seeped from him into the newchild, he could feel Gabe's sleep ease and deepen.
seep VERB
[siːp]
to flow slowly and in small quantities through something or into something
Blood was beginning to seep through the bandages.

They were in an isolated place; fields on either side of the road were dotted with thickets of trees here and there.
thicket NOUN
[ˈθɪkɪt]
a group of bushes or small trees growing closely together
a dense thicket of bamboo

He saw a stream, and made his way to it across a rutted, bumpy meadow
rutted ADJECTIVE
[ˈrʌtɪd]
with deep tracks that have been made by wheels
an uncomfortable ride along deeply rutted roads.

Gabriel, wide awake now, giggled as the bicycle jolted him up and down.
jolt VERB [dʒoʊlt]
to move or to make somebody/something move suddenly and roughly
SYNONYM jerk
Her heart jolted when she saw him.

Together the fugitives slept through the first dangerous day.
fugitive NOUN
[ˈfjuːdʒətɪv]
a person who has escaped or is running away from somewhere and is trying to avoid being caught
The detective was on the track of the fugitive. 

the careful division of scraps of food, augmented by what he could find in the fields.
augment VERB
[ɔːɡˈment]
To augment something means to make it larger, stronger, or more effective by adding something to it.
While searching for a way to augment the family income, she began making dolls.


His leg muscles were taut now.
taut ADJECTIVE
[tɔːt]
stretched tightly
Keep the rope taut.

their flesh would be no more than smears of gray against the colorless foliage.
smear VERB [smɪr]
an oily or dirty mark
a smear of jam

foliage NOUN 
[ˈfoʊliɪdʒ]
the leaves of a tree or plant; leaves and branches together
dense green foliage


heat-seeking devices which could identify body warmth and would home in on two humans huddled in shrubbery.
home in on something
to aim at something and move straight towards it
The missile homed in on the target.

he was constantly vigilant, looking for the next nearest hiding place
vigilant ADJECTIVE
[ˈvɪdʒɪlənt]
very careful to notice any signs of danger or trouble
SYNONYM alert, watchful
A pilot must remain vigilant at all times.

as if the search had become haphazard and no longer hopeful.
haphazard ADJECTIVE [hæpˈhæzərd]
with no particular order or plan; not organized well
The government's approach to the problem was haphazard.